Porsha Williams shocked Real Housewives of Atlanta fans on Sunday’s episode when she departed the group vacation to Barcelona less than 48 hours into the girls trip, citing feelings of isolation and instigation from her fellow cast members.
“I’ve tried over and over again with these girls, but all I keep getting is torn down,” the 36-year-old Dish Nation host confessed to viewers. “I just don’t think I should be putting myself in that position anymore. I don’t feel that this is a group of people I really want to be around right now. So I’m just going to leave.”
The emotional decision came hours after Williams and frequent Housewives guest Marlo Hampton nearly got into a physical brawl during a cast dinner at a tapas restaurant, with Hampton grabbing a fan Williams was using out of her hand.
Their battle left Williams, who had been involved in two previous physical fights on the show and has spent time in anger management, worried she would return to that place again.
“Once I got here, I started to see people were doing s—. A real ass person like me starts to feel like I’m trapped, and that’s when I act out,” Williams told fellow Atlanta Housewife NeNe Leakes when explaining why she wanted to leave. “I don’t want to go back to that.”
“I’ve done anger management, I’ve done personal therapy, and I want to take myself out of the situation,” she added. “It’s just too much for me. … trying to bring me to a certain level that I don’t want to be at.”
RELATED: The Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast Heads to Barcelona for an Explosive Girls Trip
Leakes understood Williams’ decision, having had her own struggles with anger in the past. “I definitely have been in your place so many damn times,” she told Williams. “At one point … everything would just take me to the next level. I hate that you fell this way because this is a sisterhood. We have highs and lows, and you need to know how to push through those low moments.”
Though she and Williams have had their own conflict, Leakes said she saw their chat as an opportunity for them to mend fences. “Something is wrong with Porsha, I can see it all in her eyes,” she said. “This is my time to really be serious with Porsha and become her big sister once again. We have a family here. We’re just dysfunctional, honey.”
But Leakes’ olive branch likely isn’t enough to change Williams’ standing with the rest of the Atlanta Housewives.
Many are still angry at Williams for spreading false allegations last season that Kandi Burruss and her husband Todd Tucker had planned on drugging her and their mutual friend Shamea Morton in order to take advantage of them sexually — something Williams said she only repeated after former Housewife and close friend Phaedra Parks told Williams the information had come first-hand from Burruss. (Parks was later let go from the show after revealing she had heard the information from an unnamed source).
Williams has apologized to Burruss and many of the women separately for repeating the claim. And while Burruss and company continue to spend time around Williams, they bring up what she did to Burruss in fights, showing that none of them have truly forgiven her.
“Every time someone gets into an argument with Porsha, they bring me up,” Burrus said. “It really bothers Porsha because she knows that she was wrong. But because she’s not owning it, they’re going to keep throwing it at her.”
RELATED VIDEO: RHOA Star Porsha Williams Gives Her Side of the Story Regarding the Kandi vs. Phaedra Feud!
In Barcelona alone, Cynthia Bailey and Hampton mentioned Burruss when fighting with Williams — the latter slamming Williams’ tears over Hampton’s insults about the size of her doormat (yes, really).
“What I just did is no worse than what you did to Kandi,” Hampton said. “You weren’t crying about the lie you told Kandi! … You go about crying about the mat your mamma bought. Did she cry about hurting ?”
Hampton’s words once again left Williams frustrated. “I feel beat down,” Williams said. “I’ve reached out to these girls several times to try to smooth things out with Kandi. I keep getting these invitations that I keep accepting but every time I’m present, all I’m getting is torn down. … I am feeling broken.”
“I just feel like I have given so much and I don’t see anything coming back,” she told Leakes. “Two years ago, I knew I was wrapped up in working and said, ‘You need to spend time with your family — sit and cherish the ones who love you and support you.’ And it has fed my spirit just as if I got closer with God. But when I come around the group, I try to be that same vulnerable Porsha, it’s like I get slapped.”
So can Williams fix it moving forward? Leakes seems to think so, but only if she’s honest with the group.
“I was waiting for you to just say something, ‘I f—– up,’ ” Leakes said. “And I feel like everyone would say, ‘We love Porsha anyway so let’s just move the f– on.’ I think everybody feels like she’s never going to say she f—– up. And that makes every time they get into a little battle with you, they want to shoot you one more time.”
Williams was skeptical. “Trust me, if I knew that that’s the statement that would stop their so-called silver bullet, I would have said it,” she said. “But I thought that me going to people individually would be more powerful.”
“I definitely need a break,” she said.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays (8 p.m. ET) on Bravo